I tire.

Lately, most accurately always, I am tired. Tired of anything you could possibly imagine an average person doing during their lives. I've come to the conclusion that the only thing I enjoy fully without the dooming back-drop of fatigue is sleep. I may sound as if I am hopelessly depressed and this has become my only solution. But this is not the case. I am just tired.

I am tired of work. Of school. Of talking. Of breathing. Of thinking. It is pathetically morose and yet, I am too tired to mourn. Any excitement I may have for an event is overshadowed by fatigue. I am most happy cuddled in my bed, or couch, or anywhere where I may close my eyes and drift into oblivion.

I am perfectly happy and content. I am just tired. Tired tired tired. But I can never rest, for when I sleep something is always there to interrupt. Even if I attempt a mid-day nap, someone or something objects to my slumber. So here I sit, awaiting the point of this day, enviously listening to the dull breathing of someone blissfully dreaming. Has been for 12 hours now. But not me, when I desire sleep it is not allowed to be enjoyed. And so on.

Inspiration

I don't know much about Ben Franklin. I learned about him throughout school, I know he invented bi-focals and the printing press, I know he helped write the Declaration of Independence, and I know he wrote Poor Richard's Almanac. Other than that, I don't really know the guy. Back in school he was just another old colonial dude to me.

A few months ago I came across a quote of his, "Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today." I remember hearing it before, and like I hear most things, it passed through my mind without reflection. Lately it has been sticking in my thoughts, so I thought about it. Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today... hmm... do the stuff today that needs done, not tomorrow... makes sense. Logical statement.

Then I thought, well maybe it's not just everyday things that need done. Maybe it's anything; everything. It's telling people how you feel, or volunteering at a soup kitchen. Maybe it's writing a novel. And maybe it's just not good things, maybe it's hard things too. Reporting the screams from next door, or leaving an abusive situation. Maybe it's getting help for an addiction, or making an appointment with a counselor.

Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today. Do it today. Whatever needs done, whatever you've been telling yourself to do someday, good or bad, easy or hard, do it today.

I know I will be.

After I fully reflected on and appreciated this quote, I looked up some of his other quotes.

"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write something worth reading or do things worth the writing."

"You may delay, but time will not."

"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle."

"All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move."

"Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one."

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do."

"Each year one vicious habit discarded, in time might make the worst of us good. "

"He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed."

Tip of the iceberg. How is it that no school teacher had ever told me how brilliant and witty this man was? Fools! I am now bent on researching and learning more about good ol' Benny. His words make sense and give me some much needed inspiration.

Introduction

I've been rattling my brain thinking how to approach this whole blog thing. I thought about doing the whole angsty teenage livejournal bit, but since I am not angsty nor a teenager, and this is not livejournal, I scratched that. So I came to the conclusion I will just start out by introducing myself, and let the rest come in as it pleases. So without further ado...

My name is Kristina. It would have been Seth, but I came out a girl. This happened 21 years ago in May. I live in a Pennsylvania town that no one has heard of, unless they are Japanese or fans of tiny people playing with sticks and balls. I currently attend a source of higher education where I'm supposed to be learning and preparing for a career in Human Services. I think this is quite amusing because I don't really like humans and I'm not too fond of servicing. But... it's what I chose, and I think it will be fine eventually. I have a boy I'm supposed to marry someday, but I'm not sure about the whole marriage thing. I have three darling felines who make my days seem a bit shorter. My family irritates me, but they're better than most. I have a few friends, all of whom are commodities. I'm not sure what that exactly means, but I'm confident it gets my point across. I enjoy reading, writing, painting, coloring, sleeping, eating, breathing and most of all, thinking. I smoke marijuana often, I don't like drinking, and I won't try coke. I hate sports, I love dancing, and I am a mean cook, in both senses of the word. I hate the media. I hate the government. I hate seafood. Oh, and my friends call me Teenie.